Headlines: Air Raid on Heaven, Saddam & Bush Involved
Unto whom does thou turn when th'art threatened by life itself? (th'art=thou art)
our world grows increasingly unstable.. politikally, socially, economically and physically... thus it is in perfekt accordance with nature's laws.... the chaos theory... "all systems tend towards increased entropy"...."bad things come in threes"..... "all things go to hell together".... if you pull the right string.. the entire fabric can unravel... and any broken strings will unravel even if you dont try to pull them. with captain bush at the helm... our ship is sure to run aground and be spurned by the waves and the rocks in a combined effort to bring the nation down to its knees.. the time is not distant where due to poor economic policy... amerika will turn to the oh-so-abhorred socialism as the answer.... but they can ony pray because their god will save them after all.... and "jesus will save" and "jesus will heal" and everything will be ok for i have not sinned so god will make up for misery on earth by eternal paradise post-mortem....
"but you never said Forever... could ever hurt like this" - Marilyn Manson
and eternal paradise would be something i would rather not have and so why do we frown upon Temptation when the temptation of heaven is all too great anyway.... and only those who wish for hell should be granted access to heaven....hmm?
eternity is a long time and everyone knows what heaven is... dont they? it is a priestly garden without thorns and devoid of variety where flowers may not be plucked for that would be painful and so plants are all weak for they have no predators and nothing to fight against... the people in heaven wear white robes and nuns dresses and live platonic lives while sittin in the perfekt sun devoid of clouds and rain while a perfekt sprinkler system designed by Ace Hardware© works at fixed intervals of time... and there is always a miraculous rainbow without clouds and a pot of gold at either end and of course the people of heaven are not greedy so the pot of gold just lies there.. and there is no death in heaven and nothing unpleasant like worms and cowdung... so the gardens are obviously doomed by the lack of fertilizer.... unless Ace Hardware© finds more ways to transport fertilizer to heaven.... the grave of every Ace employee will be packed full of sprinklers and dung and sent off to heaven.... thats how they tend their beautiful golf courses.... but my 5 year old neighbour said that heaven has TV and Playstation... and his 15 year old brother told him that heaven is full of homies n bling-bling too... and Mrs Finch from down the street said in heaven you can get an autograph from Elvis himself! oh! and Mr. Billy said that they dont collect no taxes up in heaven..... hmmmm.... or maybe it doesnt exist and we are tryin to find things we like in this world and hoping we'll have more of them sooner or later....
ah.. thou hedonist.. thou pleasure seeker... temptation shalt bribe thou into being false unto thyself and thus unto everyone else... so pretend to be a good man until thine corrupt soul is allowed into heaven... yes you can enjoy yourself there with no one to stop you....
that is why Heaven does not exist anymore.... Osama's half brother pretended to be a good man all his life and on his deathbed.... he asked only that a lot of fertilizer be planted with him and a box of matches so that he could find his way through the dark tunnel till he reached heaven.... and once that was done... he infiltrated heaven.. planted handmade fertilizer bombs and set them off with his matches.. he burnt down all your trees too and plucked out all the flowers.... all this because he was a good man throughout his life.... and so there is no more heaven.
and as for the boiling cauldron that is hell.... well.. the number of people that jumped in it everyday was so high and kept rising exponentially... until the number grew so large that as they were dumped in by the truckload... they rocked the cauldron and spilt it all over making a mighty mess and now basically hell is a place where all the world's janitors are sent to clean up that massive mess.
so if you dont wana go to hell... dont be a janitor...
Living in a state of decadent nothingness for a day or two is called Relaxation.... living in that state for a year or two is called Hedonism, living in that state for eternity is called Boredom.... boredom to the brink of death..... stagnation is death.. and death is the unknown...
if you believe yourself to be the phoenix and that you will be reborn... then you will probably die a happy man... but if you believe that death is eternal... and eternal paradise at that... then imagine it this way... you are an immortal pig.... and you will remain a pig forever... and when i say "forever"... i mean that you will never die and that there will be no escape from your royal pigness... Ever.
what you do one day will be done the next and the next... in fact.. you may not even have the luxury of having "days" because the sun never sets in paradise.. does it?... so on the grassroot level.. heaven is a boring job which never ends... good luck.
Jesus Saves.
and he relishes in slow, eternal torture too apparently...
"Im not an optmist and that is why i believe that EVERY man reaches his destination, eventually...
'how is that possible' you ask?...
i havnt seen any immortal men yet" ~ riddles of the Hellspawn
[Now Playing: "A Gothic Romance" - Cradle of Filth]
our world grows increasingly unstable.. politikally, socially, economically and physically... thus it is in perfekt accordance with nature's laws.... the chaos theory... "all systems tend towards increased entropy"...."bad things come in threes"..... "all things go to hell together".... if you pull the right string.. the entire fabric can unravel... and any broken strings will unravel even if you dont try to pull them. with captain bush at the helm... our ship is sure to run aground and be spurned by the waves and the rocks in a combined effort to bring the nation down to its knees.. the time is not distant where due to poor economic policy... amerika will turn to the oh-so-abhorred socialism as the answer.... but they can ony pray because their god will save them after all.... and "jesus will save" and "jesus will heal" and everything will be ok for i have not sinned so god will make up for misery on earth by eternal paradise post-mortem....
"but you never said Forever... could ever hurt like this" - Marilyn Manson
and eternal paradise would be something i would rather not have and so why do we frown upon Temptation when the temptation of heaven is all too great anyway.... and only those who wish for hell should be granted access to heaven....hmm?
eternity is a long time and everyone knows what heaven is... dont they? it is a priestly garden without thorns and devoid of variety where flowers may not be plucked for that would be painful and so plants are all weak for they have no predators and nothing to fight against... the people in heaven wear white robes and nuns dresses and live platonic lives while sittin in the perfekt sun devoid of clouds and rain while a perfekt sprinkler system designed by Ace Hardware© works at fixed intervals of time... and there is always a miraculous rainbow without clouds and a pot of gold at either end and of course the people of heaven are not greedy so the pot of gold just lies there.. and there is no death in heaven and nothing unpleasant like worms and cowdung... so the gardens are obviously doomed by the lack of fertilizer.... unless Ace Hardware© finds more ways to transport fertilizer to heaven.... the grave of every Ace employee will be packed full of sprinklers and dung and sent off to heaven.... thats how they tend their beautiful golf courses.... but my 5 year old neighbour said that heaven has TV and Playstation... and his 15 year old brother told him that heaven is full of homies n bling-bling too... and Mrs Finch from down the street said in heaven you can get an autograph from Elvis himself! oh! and Mr. Billy said that they dont collect no taxes up in heaven..... hmmmm.... or maybe it doesnt exist and we are tryin to find things we like in this world and hoping we'll have more of them sooner or later....
ah.. thou hedonist.. thou pleasure seeker... temptation shalt bribe thou into being false unto thyself and thus unto everyone else... so pretend to be a good man until thine corrupt soul is allowed into heaven... yes you can enjoy yourself there with no one to stop you....
that is why Heaven does not exist anymore.... Osama's half brother pretended to be a good man all his life and on his deathbed.... he asked only that a lot of fertilizer be planted with him and a box of matches so that he could find his way through the dark tunnel till he reached heaven.... and once that was done... he infiltrated heaven.. planted handmade fertilizer bombs and set them off with his matches.. he burnt down all your trees too and plucked out all the flowers.... all this because he was a good man throughout his life.... and so there is no more heaven.
and as for the boiling cauldron that is hell.... well.. the number of people that jumped in it everyday was so high and kept rising exponentially... until the number grew so large that as they were dumped in by the truckload... they rocked the cauldron and spilt it all over making a mighty mess and now basically hell is a place where all the world's janitors are sent to clean up that massive mess.
so if you dont wana go to hell... dont be a janitor...
Living in a state of decadent nothingness for a day or two is called Relaxation.... living in that state for a year or two is called Hedonism, living in that state for eternity is called Boredom.... boredom to the brink of death..... stagnation is death.. and death is the unknown...
if you believe yourself to be the phoenix and that you will be reborn... then you will probably die a happy man... but if you believe that death is eternal... and eternal paradise at that... then imagine it this way... you are an immortal pig.... and you will remain a pig forever... and when i say "forever"... i mean that you will never die and that there will be no escape from your royal pigness... Ever.
what you do one day will be done the next and the next... in fact.. you may not even have the luxury of having "days" because the sun never sets in paradise.. does it?... so on the grassroot level.. heaven is a boring job which never ends... good luck.
Jesus Saves.
and he relishes in slow, eternal torture too apparently...
"Im not an optmist and that is why i believe that EVERY man reaches his destination, eventually...
'how is that possible' you ask?...
i havnt seen any immortal men yet" ~ riddles of the Hellspawn
[Now Playing: "A Gothic Romance" - Cradle of Filth]
posted by Hellspawn~ The Ωmen at 4:58 PM
1 Comments:
your discription of "heaven" was so funny and amazingly ingenuous. The best part of your writeup. Good Luck
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